THE KNOT OF TRUST
"You learned to smile when it hurt.
To nod when you doubted.
To hold your breath around the people you should’ve exhaled with."
This knot is tricky. It doesn’t come with sirens or scars—it hides in the hesitation, in the long pauses before you speak, in the quiet part of your gut that whispers, “Don’t get too close.”
The Knot of Trust isn’t just about betrayal. It’s about what happens when you learned, early on, that opening up meant danger. That being honest meant rejection. That telling the truth meant being punished, dismissed, or used.
You didn’t become closed off on accident. You adapted.
But now? You’re safe enough to open the gate.
The Knot of Trust is woven from broken promises, invisible betrayals, and a thousand tiny silences that taught you not to reach out.
Sometimes it’s loud—a rupture that changed everything.
Sometimes it’s slow—the drip of emotional dismissal over time.
This knot forms when vulnerability feels like a threat, and intimacy starts to feel like drowning.
You don’t flinch because you’re weak.
You flinch because, back then, you had to.
​✦ What This Knot Looks Like
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Smiling when you’re uncomfortable
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Nodding when you disagree
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Withholding your real thoughts until you’re alone
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Needing absolute proof before believing someone loves you
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Over-apologizing
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Always being “the strong one”
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Bracing for abandonment—even in calm
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Hyper-independence disguised as pride
This knot can look like self-reliance. But inside? It’s loneliness.
✦ Where It Starts
Maybe you were lied to.
Maybe you told the truth once and it was thrown back at you.
Maybe your caregivers said “I love you” but made you feel unsafe.
Maybe you grew up around secrets, facades, or emotional explosions.
Maybe trust was a weapon used against you.
Maybe you were cheated.
Your nervous system remembered.
It kept a ledger of who showed up—and who didn’t.
And so, you stopped showing all of you.
Because full honesty never felt safe.
✦ Untying the Knot
This knot unties slowly—through safe moments.
Through honest pauses.
Through letting someone see your real reaction… and surviving it.
It unravels when you:
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Name what you’re feeling—even if your voice shakes
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Ask for clarity instead of assuming the worst
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Let yourself rest in connection, without guarding
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Acknowledge: “I want to trust—but I’m still scared”
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Recognize that trust isn’t all or nothing—it’s built drop by drop
Untying this knot doesn’t mean becoming naïve.
It means becoming whole.
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When did I first learn that telling the truth wasn’t safe?
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What parts of me do I still hide, even in safe spaces?
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What would trust look like if I could rebuild it gently?
Reflection Prompt:
“If I trusted that I’d be received with care today, what would I say out loud?”