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THE KNOT OF VOICE

“You were taught your voice was too loud, too much, too wrong.
So you learned to shrink, shout, or shape-shift.”

This knot doesn’t just silence.
It distorts.

The Knot of Voice forms when your truth was dismissed, mocked, or punished.
When speaking up meant risking rejection.
Or danger.
Or nothing at all.

So you adapted.
You stayed quiet, or you got louder.
You blended in, or overcompensated.

But either way—
you stopped sounding like you.

Now?
It’s not about volume.
It’s about resonance.

​

The Knot of Voice is tied in childhood—but echoes into adulthood.
It forms when you’re taught to hide your truth to stay safe, liked, or included.

You may have been mocked for how you spoke.
Interrupted when you shared.
Corrected when you questioned.
Ignored when you needed to be heard.

So your voice became either a mask or a weapon.
Or it disappeared altogether.

And now, even when it’s safe to speak,
you still hesitate.

Because your nervous system remembers what your mind tries to forget:
It wasn’t safe to be real.

​✦ What This Knot Looks Like

  • Feeling your voice shake during conflict—even if you're right

  • Over-explaining yourself to seem less threatening

  • Staying silent to avoid rocking the boat

  • Mimicking others to feel more accepted

  • Feeling guilt after saying what you really think

  • Shutting down or exploding under pressure

  • Writing long texts but avoiding real conversation

  • Not recognizing your voice in recordings—or in life

This knot can make you fluent in performance—
but mute in authenticity.

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✦ Where It Starts

Maybe you had a parent who always had to be right.
Maybe you were teased for how you spoke—or what you loved.
Maybe you lived in a house where only one opinion mattered.
Or you watched someone get punished just for being honest.

So you learned:
Truth = Trouble
Authenticity = Risk
Silence = Survival

You were never too much.
They just couldn’t hold what you had to say.

✦ Untying the Knot

This knot unties when your voice becomes yours again.
It unravels when you:

  • Speak even if your voice shakes

  • Stop rehearsing for conversations that haven’t happened

  • Say what you actually mean, not what will sound “right”

  • Notice when you’re shrinking for comfort

  • Choose self-expression over self-erasure

  • Learn that disagreement isn’t danger

You don’t need to shout to be real.
But you do need to speak to be whole.

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When did I first learn my voice was “wrong”?

Whose voice do I hear in my head when I hold myself back?

What truths do I keep hidden to avoid conflict?

Reflection Prompt:
“If my voice didn’t have to be perfect, what would it say today?”

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